We are now well and truly into the fad-free implementation phase of the pump experiment. Fad-free is of course, the part that occurs once the honeymoon is over. Once you have finished flashing your 'black box' at anyone who bothers to look your way for half a second: 'Did I mention that I got myself an artificial pancreas? Here look, while I dive into my cleavage and pull out the sweaty-soaked pager for all to see.' Once you have finished with the ridiculouse concept of carrying an 'emergency pump kit' (complete with spare batteries and a spare insulin pen) around in your handbag (ha!). Once you have finished telling a fellow diabetic over dinner about how kick-arse pumps are, only to space out on him from giving yourself a seriously bad hypo from your demonstration. And yet all throughout this fad-phase, promotion of the new gadget seems natural, important even. EVERYONE should know all about the joy, the new toy, the control ploy..
At least I thought they should.
But that was when I was young and stupid and needed the money. Time to get serious. Is this really a long-term relationship or what? Time to move into the mature-age phase of life with 'the machine'.
- 'The machine' that slips through your jocks and falls down between your leg and your pants;
- 'The machine' that somehow accompanies your remote down the back of the couch while you laze about watching telly, only to snag itself when you get off your arse to refill your chocolate stash;
- 'The machine' that struggles to fit anywhere on your business attire;
- 'The machine' that falls out of your pocket only to hang by the cord and strain the connection site;
- 'The machine' that, during a recent attendance at a formal ball where the only viable storage area was within my non-existent cleavage, prompted a fellow guest to pull me aside and say, 'errr, umm, Monique, your pancreas is showing'.
Yes, you could say that the relationship is straining, that the love at first sight is fading, that once you enter the teething stage/terrible twos things all change. But, relationships need constant work and if this is to last the distance, both of us need to pull our weights.
The pump remains a fantasic tool for mimicing the function of a normal pancreas. Without a doubt, the ability to control the release of background insulin remains by far its greatest attribute.
And it makes such practical sense! Being able to be flexible with your background requirements makes exercise, stress, heat, drinking and everything else that affects your insulin absorption much much easier to handle. Eating for exercise, in particular, has now been significantly reduced. I now mimic what normal people would consume for a ride - that is, a typical carb intake that enables me to perform just like everyone else. Compare this to having to eat before, during and after which is directly related to accounting for that one 24hour shot which cannot be altered after injected. Aaahhh, the logic! The practicality! And the weight loss as a result!! Fantastic!
Convenience is another brilliant attribute. We can do it anywhere and at any time. We can even do it without looking at one another. The remote has come in very handy, with a classic example seen in a job interview where a correction bolus was necessary. Underneath the spiff-o interview kit, a beeping sound could be heard as I pressed my remote control function to deliver my needs without disrupting my presentation. Terrific!
Adaptability, or as I like to call it, the 'morning tea break dilemma' is another great feature. Morning tea break dilemma is all about the one biscuit you have with your coffee, amounting to a bugger-all carb intake. On injections, this may require an injection of 1-2 units. Allowing for insulin loss on injection, can't-be-arsedness, and the restrictions on total amounts (whole units only), the usual answer was to wait until lunchtime when you have a decent injection and just counter for the mid-morning break then. Now, the pump can counter for such small amounts much more effectively and efficiently. A great asset, with fewer excuses to run high.
Can the black box pull its own weight in the long run? I know I'm pulling less of my own weight and for that I am thankful we're still together.
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