August 16th - Excuse my French Butt.. (Day 51 Mont St Hilaire to Pointe du Lac, Quebec)
It's been a crazy last few days in terms of internet access, but even crazier in terms of being on the bike. Don't have much time, so things will be even more poorly written than usual..
The questions and answers on everyone`s lips - as sunburnt, sore and cracked as they are:
**does my butt hurt yet?
Yes, and I am not too sure on the `yet`component of the question. Lets just say that it hurt when we started, and then it was a bit better, and then we hit the Prairies and it got intensely hot and we battled headwinds and long days in the saddle, and then it got really bad (along with everyone else). And then as we entered Ontario it got a little better, but then it got worse and with my mosquito bites forming infections (three such on my arse got so infected I went to the emergency department in Thunder Bay) my arse got worse as I was favouring the arse pressure on the seat. And on and on, continuing this trend until present day where the arse is sore at the moment, but not too bad.
The difficulty with arse soreness, saddle sores and infected mosquito bites is that you never give them enough time to heal, so the buggars stick around. It ain't pretty, which may result in my overnight ferry plans to Newfoundland being adjusted as a result. The `plan`, or challenge, is to match the effort of a few gals from the `99 tour who did the whole Titanic pose on the front of the ship, only starkas at around 1am. I have been challenged by one of these women to repeat the effort, only at a time closer to dinner hours. It`ll be interesting, and of course, I`ll keep you posted.
**do you have a suntan?
We`ll need some definition of a suntan, but if it involves hitching up your riding shorts to reveal ultra white flabby thighs, then I think I may have to answer yes to that one. We have a competition - of course, and I am definitely up there for tan line honours. One woman in a place called `Blind River`, Ontario, said to me, `You`ve been on the road for 40 days? So where`s your suntan then?` I replied with a low `grrrrrrrrrr`.
**how is your arse going?
I think I answered that one, but fine thanks anyway.
**whats the goss on the `goss`front? Why are you censoring your emails?
I am sure that most of you find exploits on the bike far more interesting than exploits whilst trashed, and I think my mum agrees with that also. But I have found that passing out in the common room with a piece of cold pizza in close proximity to the source of some very untidy snoring is not the most attractive sight. But, it does indicate that one had a terrific evening.
Numbers that are shaping my world
What I think about on my bike:
- 2% checking out the rider in front`s arse
- 2% wondering if the rider behind is doing the same with me
- 20% thinking about my sore arse, or sore knees, or wondering if the dehydration I am suffering is from the beers last night, or it really is this hot
- 20% getting the words right to the soundtrack of the day.
- 5% navigational thought
- 51% nothing
Injury count:
- Flat tyres: 5
- Blown tyres: 1
- Pinched tubes: 7
- Adjusted (tightened) cones on the rear hub: 4
- Toilets destroyed: 3
We are now in Quebec, and I think what sums this up, aside from the absolutely terrific riding we had this morning alongside the Richelieu River with its low fog, stunning cottage homes - all at least a century old and so terrifically painted, fields and fields of corn (is this stuff better than in Ontario, or just by bringing that up constitute blasphemy?) `villages`with their 18th century catholic massive churches with silver spires next door to cafes and terrifically adorned streetscapes - verandas right onto the street frontage, ye olde stores, and everything in French. Oh yeah, to finish the sentence properly - what sums up being here, is what a 6yr old said to us yesterday while we sat out a thunderstorm (translated by our truck driver): `why are they speaking English to me when I speak French?`
My main aim for Quebec is to somehow annoy a Frenchman, have him yabber off to me for some unknown reason, and then bitch-slap me before storming off. It relates to a story of a Canadian pissing off an Australian while travelling along the Great Ocean Road near Melbourne and being bitch-slapped, yet he still has no idea why..
Mark: Tusin Tak for last Friday - really appreciate you taking a day off for me. Cannot believe Monday morning`s form..What the...? French keyboards are frustrating. See you in the Van for sure
Nezz: Thanks for your message mate
Hanna: Thanks for your message too
Nic: Had no time to catch up with Sue or see the circus. Got trashed though - always time for that!
Joy: Sorry for not getting back to you, but thought you might be interested in www.vicnet.net.au/(insert a tilda here, I can`t find it on this keyboard)monas
Sandy: Thanks for your message, but I can`t bloody reply to you today.. I have no time! Bloody bloody
Jim: Bingo.
Bob: Thank you so much for the photos, they are awesome!
Danilo: great to catch up
Penny: thanks for the evening
there was someone else...and I can`t remember... sorry..
Do I have time left? no. okay.
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